


Love Travels

by cruisedirector



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Dogs, Dreams, F/M, Kissing, One-sided Conversation, POV First Person, Post-Series, Romance, Surprises, Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-21
Updated: 2001-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 22:58:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruisedirector/pseuds/cruisedirector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of those "they got home and Chakotay dropped by to visit" stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Travels

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a sequel to "Resentment"; this story, however, is much happier...or at least sappier. I seem to be in a state where I can hear Him but not Her, so this is his half of a dialogue.

It's Chakotay. Remember me? Right outside your door. Yes really. Ask the retina scanner. Or why don't you come out and look? Well, yes I want to come in, but only if you want to see me. Surprise!

Oh, maybe a couple of pounds. Everyone looks better out of those uniforms. You look exactly the way I remember. No, leave it up - I always liked it better that way. It's a long story. No business. Actually I came to Earth to see you. Because of a dream I had. Really, I'm not making it up. When I had the same dream for the tenth night in a row, I couldn't stand it anymore.

You look like you think I'm nuts. Maybe I am. Okay, but I don't think this is any nuttier than the way we said goodbye. What the hell was that about anyway? We barely even spoke, as if we hadn't just spent the better part of a decade together. That was nuts, Kathryn, unless you really had nothing to say to me. I thought about calling but you never called me. Then I started having the dream.

Very funny. I did talk to a counselor, but he kept going on about trying to tell myself what I really wanted. You have to realize...I was really scared. I thought I was losing my mind, like my grandfather did. Oh, my father probably would have told me the spirits were trying to tell me something, but you know what I think about my father and his spirits. Maybe better than I once did, but I still wasn't about to jump on a shuttle just because of a dream. Still, I know, here I am. You know what I decided? It didn't matter whether it was my ancestors or my subconscious or your spirit trying to communicate with me. It meant the same thing either way. So I came.

Sure, I'd love some. Just the pie, not the ice cream. At this hour? I can't believe you're still drinking this much coffee. Hey, you're still shaking your head at me for being here. Did you paint these? They're really good...yes they are. Don't criticize my taste in art. Have you been doing a lot of painting? I wondered what you were doing with your time. I didn't expect you to take this much time off. Nobody did.

Really? Very. We might both be there next semester. I always intended to take the Academy's offer, I just needed a few months away from Starfleet. I didn't know you were interested in teaching. Is Seven still there? You're kidding. I didn't know Harvard accepted Borg. Kathryn, I'm kidding! I guess I expected her to stay in Starfleet. No, I think college is a great idea. Was that your influence? What's she studying? Right. She's majoring in philosophy and you don't think it's your influence. Mark who? Oh. I don't think I knew he was a professor. His wife too? Well, that ought to give the two of you something to talk about at least. Is it awkward? Me too. I visited a girl I dated when I was eighteen, now she has four kids. That was strange. Do you ever wonder when we got to be so old?

It's delicious. No, I'd really rather stand - does it bother you that I'm looking at your things? These are beautiful too, who made them? I'd like to meet your sister. I think I may have, briefly, at that stupid party Starfleet threw us, but I don't remember much about it. I was trying to get drunk.

Why do you think? Come here for a minute.

Just a proper goodbye hug. Not going anywhere, I just never got one. Thanks. Is your dog trained to do that or is it me? It's all right, big guy, I'm not trying anything. Yet. Just remember you said it, not me. Are you laughing because you're having fun or am I making you nervous? Yes, I guess I am. Can I ask you something? Do you feel that...energy all around us? Okay, static electricity. You don't really believe that? Well, you're the scientist. You want to try it again?

Sorry. You know how it is when you don't let yourself feel something for a long time and then it hits you...? Am I embarrassing you? Let me tell you about the dream, then you can be embarrassed for me. It always started, I was looking out over an ocean, through an old-fashioned telescope like I had when I was a kid, and I could see you on the other side looking for me but you didn't have a telescope so you couldn't see me. I tried to yell but you could never hear. You turned and started walking away, so I jumped up and flew over the ocean to where you were, and when I got there you weren't at all surprised but you said, "I thought you weren't there anymore." For more than a week I had the same dream. I'm sure it has more to do with my need for closure than...

What is it? You're obviously upset. I probably shouldn't have come. I didn't mean to disrupt things. Just didn't think I had much to lose. You know what I'm saying? Don't, I should have called at least. I should have thought of what you would want. Just tell me you're happy and I'll let you go.

Kathryn.

It's okay. No, shh, it's all right. I know, I know that. It doesn't matter. Don't...you aren't...here. Coffee. I'd offer you a drink but I don't know where you keep your synthehol. Better? Okay. Talk to me. I'm more confused than you are. All right, I'll talk and you can listen. When we got home I kept wanting to go back, not to where we were but way back, the way it was before the Borg and everything that happened. I was angry for a long time. I mean on the ship. I know that if we try to go over all of that we'll never resolve anything, we'll either start arguing or end up not able to talk about anything because there are too many touchy subjects, so I don't want you to think I want that.

I know, but the thing is, Kathryn, we kept making it work somehow even when we couldn't stand each other - like when you thought I was going to lead a mutiny over the Equinox, and I thought you were going to throw me out an airlock. Yes you did. It's a good thing we got home when we did because sooner or later you would have killed me if I didn't kill you first. Uh huh, at least you're smiling now.

Tell me the truth: how come you didn't go back out? I was sure you were going to take the ship and head back after awhile. I don't know. I never let myself think about it. Would you have offered? See, I don't think either of us will ever be able to answer those questions. You're right, it's not the same. Anyway we don't have to.

Kathryn... look, I really didn't come here expecting you to fall into my arms. I have to ask you, just so I can live with myself. Would you be willing to give us a chance? You can set the terms, we don't have to be together all the time, we can see other people if you want...okay, or not. You mean it? I...uh, I don't know what to say. I had a speech planned for when you said no...yes, but I thought it was only fantasy that you might agree so I sort of embellished. I, um...sure, but are you sure? This is really what you want?

All right, I believe you. God! Not laughing at you, just at the whole...tell me something, how many months ago could I have gotten away with asking? Sure I did. I knew better on the ship. We should have talked about it, but I guess maybe you couldn't. It doesn't matter anyway. I think I understand now. Do you understand why I had to come here? I had to try. Even if your reaction wasn't what I hoped, I couldn't go on with my life without telling you...okay, okay, I'll shut up now. Just kiss me again.


End file.
